Totally Crap Day

I had a feeling yesterday that I would not be in a good mood today. Being right does not make me feel any better. It started okay, as I woke up before my alarm this morning and my throat didn't feel as bad as it had done the last week or so.
Things started to go bad on the way to work. Tesco wasn't open for some reason which means I had to use my break time to get food (breaks which have been cut by 15 minutes since I was last in).
I got to work and events which I cannot comment on meant that everything had changed and the guards did not seem to understand that we all have to work together at times like this. Two of the guards were competing to make sure they each got the easiest day, by ignoring the established roster, meaning that no one knew where anyone was all day. When I had words with them they didn't like it, complaining that I was "in one of my moods again." The truth was that, yes I was in one of my moods, but it is strange that I only get these "moods" when these two guards are on duty. Lazy fuckers.
The only piece of good news was that one of them informed me that he didn't want to do any overtime on my shift any more. Though that didn't make up for the rest of the day, or the fact that he has to work the next 2 days with me anyway as he has already agreed to it. Shit!

All day I was on the verge of walking out, and I can't see anything getting better there at all. I even told my boss that I was leaving as soon as I could. This wasn't a big surprise to him. I really need help with this job hunting thing as I haven't seen a job for weeks that I could apply for. I was tempted by one last week, but even though it was £11 per hour it was part time, meaning that I would be about £100 worse off a week! I could try to get a part-time job too, but there would be no guarantee that I could find one (and at a time when I want more money, so that I can move out, among other things).

New Object of Lust

I've seen this guy on tons of websites and blogsites lately and he looks amazing every time. I initially remember seeing him on "Out in Public" and "Ungloryhole", which are sister sites of the infamous "Baitbus." He is very good looking, in that annoyingly All-American way, with a great body, killer smile and has a naughty glint in his eye telling you that he is probably up for trying just about anything.

Gavin Waters is his name, apparently, is a native of Florida, USA and is said to be straight, though his enthusiasm in scenes alludes to him being not-so-straight. I have searched almost fruitlessly for "safe" pictures of this beautiful man, so anyone who has them please let me know so I can pinch them.

Here are the only two that I could find that are safe for work:

Silence is Torture

I went to the gym, as usual, today and once again there was no Nick there. I just want to know what is going on. Are we going out for a drink or not. I'm going to guess as "not" given the lack of communication. I could live with it better if I knew for sure, but the hanging around not knowing what he's thinking is doing my head in. I'm going to have this feeling for at least the next four days at least unless he phones, texts or sends me a Facebook message to put me out of my misery.
Yes, I am back to work tomorrow after having 12 glorious days off doing not very much at all. I am really not looking forward to it and can feel the bad mood rising already.

Sunny "Sunny" Sunday

Despite not getting to sleep until about 3:00 this morning I still managed to wake up at 9:00 and got up almost immediately, with no hangover. Good start, eh? It was already really sunny and warm and was destined to be the hottest day of the year. I got a few things sorted around the flat and then went to Superdrug to get some sun spray and aftershave, and then into Peacocks for some cheap summer clothes.
I timed my trip to the gym to coincie with the England match because I really didn't want to watch it. The gym was virtually empty, I guess unsurprisingly. Nick wasn't there, frustratingly, as I haven't had a reply about when and where we are going out for drinks yet. It is making me paranoid. I need an answer soon.
Frustratingly, Mauro seemed a bit nonchalant with his replies to my messages today too. I'm just not as popular as I would like to be obviously. Maybe he just wanted me for my gorgeous arse.
I also spent a half-hour out in the blazing sun after the gym, I couldn't manage any more.

I have just got a really touching text from Alexis, one of my best friends in Torquay saying:
"Baking hot day. Nice lunch in the garden at the pub in Maidencombe. Walked through Shaldon, a drink at Babacombe and then on to the Kents. The only thing missing was you"
It was just what I needed, and brought a tear to my eye too.
It was followed by a text telling me to "move home to Torquay!"
I do miss being there, especially on days like today, but I can't afford to move and I think I would miss London too much, unless I had someone to move down there with. I think I could live anywhere with the right guy.
I've got one more day off before I have to go back to work for four days. Once again I have nothing planned for it except, surprise surprise, going to the gym.

eBay

I've just added some more items to my selling list on eBay. If you are at all interested in buying some Star Wars figures / vehicles then check it out here. I will be adding other items day by day and these will also include Star Trek figures, Marvel and DC comics figures, Heroclix figures and Transformers. All have low starting prices as I need to get rid of the lot sadly.

Disappointment Reversed

Just as I was about to leave for Clapham yesterday I got a series of texts from Richard who was already there. It turns out that he was waiting in a queue to get into the street. The queue was going all along Clapham High Street, so I decided not to bother. I was really disappointed, but I think Richard was relieved that I wasn't going as he said he'd give up and go home to bed!!!
Instead, I rethought what I was going to wear (which looked great by the way) and went into town instead a couple of hours later.
Drinking alone isn't always fun, but I enjoyed watching people last night. I was comfortable with how I was looking and I needed to distract myself from thinking about Nick. I did the usual round (for when I am drinking alone), starting in Comptons for one before going on to Rupert Street. I chatted to a Danish guy there for a bit, but there were very few guys I actually fancied.
I then moved on to Barcode. Initially, apart from the lovely bar staff, I didn't recognise anyone (despite one guy insisting that we used to talk all the time there, which may be true but I don't recall it. It must have been when I was drunk! My memory is always hazy then!).
It was a quiet night all over town, probably because of Clapham Street Party and also because London Pride is next weekend.
I wandered around and suddenly saw a gorgeous guy sat upstairs near the bar. He was with another guy, attractive but not as much. The gorgeous guy looked right at me and gave a massive smile. I reciprocated, but did not want to annoy the guy he was with. After a couple more smiles between us the gorgeous guy came over to me and invited me over to be with him and his friend. Apparently he'd seen me in there before and liked me then too. We ended up all kissing, though the other guy was really embarrassed to be doing it in front of people.
The gorgeous guy is named Mauro and he really seemed to like me. He is dark skinned, from Brazil, very muscular (but not overly so) and is a personal trainer at a gym I used to be a member of. He kept ignoring the other guy and eventually that guy just disappeared.
I wasn't going to go home with him, but he persuaded me and we got a taxi back to mine (which he kindly paid for). We had a great time until he tried to fuck me, without a condom. Firstly I don't like to get fucked and I never give or take without a condom (any more, I have been stupid in the past though, but escaped unscathed thankfully). Lastly he was way to big for me to do it drunkenly and unprepared. He was fine when I asked him to stop though.
He then wanted to sleep snuggled up, which I can't do at the best of times, but when it is so humid and hot, as it has been lately, I really couldn't. I tried but got all claustrophobic as usual and had to explain my feelings to him. He said he had to go if he couldn't snuggle up to me all night and called a taxi which was a shame.
He wants to meet up today, but once again I my nose is all bunged up and I'm not sure I want to be wiping it all day in front of him. We shall see.
Oh, and did I mention that, as well as having the same job, he is also the same age as Nick, 24 (though looks older). What a coincidence!

Frustration

I was quite disappointed today when I went to the gym. I got into the changing room and immediately saw Nick. We exchanged hellos, but he said he had just started work and so I though he was rushing to get ready and get upstairs. In the gym, his flatmate (best mate) Leigh was there and Nick spent a lot of time with him. I'm not expecting him to attend to my every need, but he ignored me for virtually the whole time I was there. I was incredibly frustrated by this, especially after I'd asked him out yesterday and he had said yes. I would like some interest in actually arranging the date ("date?").
When I'd finished my set, another good one as I was working out my frustrations, I saw Leigh in the sauna. I introduced myself and we had a bit of a chat. He seemed friendly enough.
When I got home I was feeling a bit put out, and so I sent a Facebook message to Nick to ask when he wants to go for this drink. The sooner we have the drinks, or he tells me he's changed his mind the better for me.
I'm off to Clapham Street Party in about 30 minutes and the sun has just gone behind the first cloud that I've seen all day! A portent? We shall see.

Armed Forces Day

Today is Armed Forces Day here in the UK. Embarrassingly it is only the second such annual day to recognise the hard work of ALL the military division of this country (though we did formerly have Veterans Day) and the incredibly difficult and often thankless tasks they perform worldwide, following their government's orders to protect the UK's (and many other countries) interests here and abroad. I am a staunch supporter of all the military divisions and not just because my brother and grandfather were in the military.

The pictures here mostly are not actual military men, many are not even from the UK, and the army are disproportionately represented and I appologise for that. The sentimet is there though.

Keep our troops safe, keep our allies safe and keep them supported when they return home. They deserve our gratitude and respect.

I Did It

My cold is coming to a head today, meaning that it is at the messy nose-wiping stage, so hopefully it will be over very soon. I still managed to get into town this morning to finally purchase something for Richard's 40th birthday which is next weekend (not tomorrow).
I went to the gym this afternoon at my normal time and as I walked up the stairs into the gym area there he was waiting for me (or at least that is how it seemed momentarily). I chatted to Nick for a bit and just as I was about to go on to do my work out I finally managed to do it. I asked if he wanted to go out for a drink sometime. He said yes! I should be ecstatic but it was a sort of non-committal "yes." We didn't arrange anything, but I told him to let me know when he is free and we will arrange something. It feels, at the moment, like a bit of an anti-climax. Let's hope that we can arrange something soon.
I'm gonna go out and enjoy the sun for about an hour and then try and find someone to go to the Clapham Street Party tomorrow, which I've only just found out about today. Tim is already a "No" for that!

Self-Doubt

I've been thinking a lot lately, never a good thing, and I've begun to have serious doubts about asking Nick out at all. I've been trying to think of what I could offer him in a relationship, and I have come up blank. I think I may just be envious of his lifestyle. He is attractive, popular, outgoing, has lots of friends, goes out often to different places and has been abroad more times this year than I have in 17 years! Am I just after that? Or am I just grabbing on to the first person to show any interest in me other than a quick shag for the first time in ..... I can't remember how long?
I think I should still ask him out for drinks, otherwise I may always wonder "what if? But I am not hopeful of a positive reply.

Stuff

I've achieved a few things today, not tons but a few things, which makes a nice change for me. I put a dozen or so more items on eBay (some of my items on there are already attracting some watchers, though no actual bidders yet).
I took three large carrier bags of stuff to the charity shop.
I've done a small amount of grocery shopping and one load of washing.
I've been to the gym, where I stayed working out for an extra half an hour to normal. I should have had a cardio & core workout, but did my chest & arms as the day before yesterday I didn't do a proper workout because of my hangover. Cardio tomorrow.
Then I sat out in the humidity for about an hour reading (the sun only appeared around the clouds for the last 5 minutes).
Now I am in the mood for going out drinking in Soho again. It's not going to happen though so I'm not getting my hopes up. Maybe tomorrow or Saturday. Shame though as I am, once again, feeling really REALLY horny.

Karma

Fate seems to be conspiring against me lately, it shouldn't be because karma owes me for all the good deeds I do.
For the last few days I've woken up with a blocked nose and sore throat (because I've spent all night mouth breathing I guess). I eases once I've woken up, but it is still annoying. I've obviously got a mild cold, it's certainly not hayfever.
I went to the gym yesterday afternoon, as usual but unfortunately didn't see Nick there. Though I did a full session I could have pushed myself more, I'll have to work on ways to do that without repeating exercises.
At home later while just staring out of my window I saw him walk past in his work gear, so he'd obviously been there, but busy somewhere else. I gave a small wave when he looked up and he waved back. I wanted to rush out and talk to him then, but didn't think that would be "cool."
I've seen today on Facebook that he is moving, so he almost certainly won't be at work again. When am I gonna catch a break?
I guess today I'll just do the same old thing. Put some items on eBay, go to the gym this afternoon and then bask in the sun for an hour (assuming the sun stays out long enough for me to do that).
I posted on Facebook yesterday that I would love to pop down to Brighton for the day, if the good weather continues. I would love to bum around the Lanes and other shops for a couple of hours before heading down to the beach and eating some lunch while staring at the sea, then head on to explore a few of the bars and head home when I got tired. It's just a shame that I have no one to go down there with. It's as frustrating as hell actually. No one has commented on my Fb post let alone show any interest in going.
Isn't it about time I had some karmic payback (or have I been watching too much "My Name is Earl" ?????

I Hate eBay

I've just listed my first few items on eBay (to get rid of the "junk" in the cellar that I will soon have no room for). I only listed 5 items and it took me over an hour and a half, what with photos, weighing, working out postage etc. I really get bored doing it and that's even before I have to package up before shipping out. Only another few hundred items to go!

For Sale

As an add-on to my last post (and in desperation), I just thought that I would ask if there is anyone out there who would be interested in purchasing any Star Wars, Star Trek, Transformers, Marvel or DC action figures as I am going to have to sell my whole collection (admittedly it's probably about time). I have an embarrassingly large collection of this "junk" and, as I will soon not have anywhere to store it, I have to get rid of it all.
I've already contacted a comic shop, Orbital Comics, that also sells some second hand figures, though I'm not holding my breath on that one. Otherwise I will have to go through the painstaking job of putting them all on eBay and then having to post them.

More Birthday Drinks

I decided yesterday afternoon to see if Tim fancied going out for some more drinks, as I wanted to go out on my actual birthday. I thought his answer was almost certainly going to be "No." But, as it turned out, he was going out anyway with Graham, so I met them about 19:30 in the Duke of Wellington and we were also joined by Chris. After a couple of drinks there, we went on to the Yard. They all then decided to go home, but I stayed out, going to Rupert Street where I got chatting to a couple of guys. Later I went on to Barcode where I chatted to a few people. One guy I met, who was incredibly sexy, turned out to be Jeremy (who works there)'s boyfriend. His name is Tim.
A few days ago, after being urged to do so by Nick, I checked out his Facebook photos of a cruise he'd been on and saw that he had a photo of himself, his flatmate Leigh and Jeremy (who works on cruise liners as well as at Barcode). It turns out that Tim was there too.
I ended up going back to another guys hotel room when Barcode closed, he was actually quite nice. Unfortunately, when I took a toilet break, I came back to find him asleep. I suppose I could have stayed the night, but instead I left and came home. I'd had another good night all-in-all though. Almost-sex is getting to be a regular occurrence unfortunately.

I had a headache when I woke this morning, but it soon faded, though I have felt drained all day. I got a text from someone that I don't remember giving my number to and we eventually arranged to hook up. He never actually turned up though and I was feeling so incredibly horny (what with last nights abortive session and the anticipation) and I had to watch some porn to ease my frustrations.
I managed to go to the gym , despite feeling drained, though it wasn't a full session. As I got into the gym Nick was just going home and was in a rush, as he had a driving lesson to get to, so we hardly said more that a few words to each other. Maybe tomorrow.
I then went and sat out in the beautiful sunshine for about an hour.

Now for the bad news:
My landlord's father (who provided the cash for the business [pub and flat] and so is the real boss) told me that I have to remove everything from the window shelf, telling me that "the [Barbican] estate" had been sending them letters about it. Bullshit, how can an estate tell a tenant that they can't put something on a window shelf?
He also told me that I have to remove all of my boxes from the store room in the cellar as they are converting it to a conference room (or something), so I will have to have everything in my room. I am going to have to sell it all, which won't be easy and will take ages doing it on eBay. And despite there being some great stuff there (from my massive Star Wars collection) I don't anticipate getting anywhere near what I actually paid for it all, let alone what it is all worth. I am so angry, the only reason I moved here 4 years ago was because I had storage space.
I'm going to have to find a new place to live, which is a shitter too because I've just ordered a new bed and mattress and most flatshares would be furnished. I can't afford to live on my own again, I wish I could, I miss having my own place.
Typical, this comes just as everything was going so well lately, financially at least. I'm not happy.

Pour Moi!

Just a random selection